whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize