singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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