you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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