Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
