We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
