I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
