She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
