Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
