I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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