If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
