I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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