I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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