New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
