yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
