when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize