We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
