is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize