When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
