he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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