I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
