the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Your cock deserves a montage
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
