You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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