At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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