Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize