How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
