So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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