why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
