Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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