you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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