M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
