I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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