Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
