i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
