Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
