Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
