How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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