At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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