I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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