white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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