Hey man sorry I got all grabby
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
