i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
