Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
