So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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