i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
