I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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