question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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