she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
