I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
