Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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