They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm sobbing to NWA
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize