I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
