fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
