i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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