Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize