Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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