Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
