did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
