Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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