really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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