No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
