There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
