My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
