So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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