I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
