Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
