yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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