I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
