She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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