Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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