im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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