im drinking this country out of the recession.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
