apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
